I trusted you like a fool.
I waited for you to come and take me home like a fool.
I waited for you to come rescue me like a fool.
I missed you like a fool.
I clung to the hope of our reunion like a fool.
I loved you like a fool.
I kept you in my heart like a fool.
I erased you and then I drew you again like a fool.
I hated you and then I loved you again like a fool.
I wanted to forget you, but I always thought of you like a fool.
I’m loving you like a fool.
I’m missing you like a fool.
I hate you because I miss you.
I hate you because it hurts.
**********
You weren’t there when I was sad.
You weren’t there when I was homesick.
You weren’t there when I wanted to return home.
You weren’t there when I was having a hard time.
You weren’t there when I was losing my words.
You weren’t there when I was losing my manners.
You weren’t there when I was losing my way of thinking and creating.
You weren’t there when I realized I lost our language and felt rape in my soul.
You weren’t there when I needed your protection.
You weren’t there when my life became hell.
You weren’t there when I was alone in my despair.
You sent me away.
You never checked on me.
You forgot me.
You erased me.
**********
You weren’t there to protect me when they were removing my Korean manners from me while teaching me their manners as being the right manners.
You weren’t there to protect me when they were draining me of my ways of thinking and creating while injecting their ways into me.
You weren’t there to protect me when they were emptying me of all my words while penetrating me forcefully with their foreign words.
I lost our language because
You sent me to a foreign country where nobody called me by my name and nobody spoke our language.
I lost our language and culture because
You sent me away.
You never checked on me.
You forgot me.
You erased me.