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Archive for August, 2012

From the time I had started learning/understanding my adoptive parents’ language (now my first language), my adoptive mother often told me that I was her living doll that she’d asked to Santa Claus; her Christmas gift which came just on time for Christmas.

I’ve also heard many times my adoptive mother saying to her friends and family that destiny had joined us together.
She saw signs of destiny in my body so different from hers: we both had a black mole on our backs and we both had a small skin outgrowth on our shoulders. She spoke more often of the latter sign. “…On her left shoulder exactly like mine, at the same place,” she would say.
I didn’t know yet the meaning of the word destiny. To my understanding, destiny had led me to her and I was her destiny, which meant destiny (I) had killed my first mother and torn my siblings apart and forced my father to get rid of me. That was my understanding of the word destiny at the age of ten.
I wanted to become like her, I wanted to be her real daugther, but I didn’t want to be her destiny. Each day, I scratched and pinched my sign of destiny until it hurt me. She applied wet compresses to prevent me from scratching it as it nearly got infected. The sign of destiny disappeared after several days.

Years later, my adoptive mother got into all kind of beliefs. She then said that I was her father in our past lives hundreds years ago and that I had came back to her as her daugther in this life to set unresolved things with her.

All these said along with her message: “adopted children are no different from biological children” – “adopting is same as giving birth” – “I felt the pain of childbirth when I saw her at the airport…”

Adoption is wall of truth built with bricks of lies.

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