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Archive for September, 2013

Adoption scandals have become a new platform for  Holt to make their sales pitch and promote themselves as a “legal-legitimate-reputable-credible-and-ethical” adoption agency.

In 2008, in Iowa,  four Korean children were beaten to death by their adoptive father.  Molly Holt, a daughter of Harry and Bertha Holt, used the tragedy to say  “she has always felt that a family is the best gift an orphaned child can have.” ‘Mother of all Korean orphans” admits not every adoption perfect was the title of the article. She admitted that  “not all adoptions have a happy ending” and she mentioned for instance thIs family in Iowa. And “with tearful eyes, seemingly feeling guilty about the children’s deaths,” she said that they did their job (homestudies, post-adoption reports every three months for a year) but had found nothing wrong. And she said she would continue helping orphaned children get adopted. “To make happy family” was her plan for the future.

In  2013, the Duquets, accused of  circumventing S. Korean adoption laws,  were ordered to return baby Sehwa they had taken illegally out of the country. Susan Soonkeum Cox, vice president of policy and external affairs for Holt International Children’s Services, said that “Adoption is intended to find families for children-not children for families” in her opinion piece Adoption must be legal, and serve the interests of children.

Reuters recently published a fiver-part report, entitled The Child Exchange: Inside America’s Underground Market for Adopted Children, about rehoming (Americans advertising on Internet their children adopted from overseas to hand them off to people they’ve never met).  Susan Soonkeum Cox  used the latest adoption scandal as a platform to make  again her sales pitch and to promote the company she’s working for as a “legal-legitimate-reputable-credible-and-ethical” adoption agency. (See her opinion piece: Tough adoption standards are essential to protect children.)

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I had  been fooled two times (in 2001 and 2003) by Molly Holt’s kindness, seemingly honesty and seemingly feeling guilty face. But I wasn’t fooled by her tearful eyes, and her seemingly honesty and feeling guilty expression as reported by Yonhap News.

I had been fooled by the words “orphaned” and “Korean war” for many years until I discovered how Holt label children as “orphans” and realized Korean war was finished since more than 50 years. But I’m not fooled by Susan Soonkeum Cox hypocritical words in her opinion pieces.

Before saying nice words such as “adoption is intended to find families for children-not children for families,” Holt should look at what they’ve done. Holt found families for orphaned  and abandoned children, and Holt also found families for children who already had families. (See how they made up my family background). In other words, Holt found children for families.  Bertha Holt herself wrote in her book that they had trouble “finding the little ones”, so they went to the country in search for children to give to the wanting couples.

“The root of the trouble seems to be money. I have been told that anyone in California can buy a healthy American baby for $3,000. If we bring in more children we weaken the monopoly which will cut the price of babies. People in this racket don’t want overseas babies brought in. I think God has a special place in hell for people who sell these littles ones. ” From Bring My Sons From Afar (page 10) by Bertha Holt. “You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” From the Bible, Romans 2:1.

“The root of the trouble seems to be money. I have been told that anyone in California can buy a healthy American baby for $3,000. If we bring in more children we weaken the monopoly which will cut the price of babies. People in this racket don’t want overseas babies brought in. I think God has a special place in hell for people who sell these littles ones. ” From Bring My Sons From Afar (page 10) by Bertha Holt.
“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” From the Bible, Romans 2:1.

Before preaching “adoption must be legal, and must serve the interest of children,” Holt should repent of their sins for creating paper orphans, separating families and putting  kindapped or lost children  up for adoption.

Holt approved my adopters without checking their citizenship  and they sent me to them with an illegal US-visa.

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Holt don’t care about the abused children. They don’t have the interests of children in mine.  They only fear the scandals will lead to a sharp decline in adoptions.

Holt International Children’s Services is a business, a business where clients are prospective adopters and the products are children.   Sharp decline in adoptions is not good for such business.

If foreign governments start taking care of their children, Holt International will go out of business as it will results in sharp decline. If foreign governments start improving their child welfare, helping families, Holt International will go out of business too as it will result in sharp decline.

Holt serve those who pay to adopt/buy a child (of course Holt accept donations too). They don’t and they can’t have the best interests of children in mind; if they do they’ll go out of business.

Suggested reading: A critique of Harry and Bertha Holt’s work while setting up intercountry adoption in Korea.

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Had you not been adopted,

  • you’d have ended up as a prostitute or in the streets;
  • you’d have became an illiterate;
  • you’d be dead by now

My heart ached thinking of my father.   I missed him and it hurt me. I’ve consoled myself telling myself, “If I was with my dad, I’d be a prostitute or a homeless” I missed my family, but I’ve consoled myself repeating in my head, “If I wasn’t adopted, I’d be a prostitute or homeless like them [siblings, nephew, niece, cousins and friends].” My heart ached for my siblings, nephew and niece.

My life had became a hell because of my adoptive mother’s alcoholism, yet I still found a way to console myself thinking,  “They [siblings, nephew, niece, cousins and friends] must be living in the streets  or as prostitutes by now.” I imagined my sister, four years older than me, enduring sexual abuses. Her life similar or worse than mine made me apperciate my adopted life. “I’m lucky I was adopted.” I had decided that I would later adopt some children of the poor to save them from prostitution, street life, illiteracy, poverty and death.

My adopted life was nostalgia and melancholy.  I missed Korea, my country, my  homeland, my home; I missed my family, my friends; I missed Korean foods; I even missed the life of poverty where I had known happiness; I missed everything of Korea. I repeated the comforting words, “Had I not been adopted, I’d be dead by now.”

Adoption saved me and adoption nearly killed me.

After secret failed suicide attempts, the comforting words would sometimes come to my mind, “I should be grateful for being alive. Had I not been adopted, I’d be dead by now.”

But I survived the adoption.

Twenty-six years after being “saved”, I went back to  Korea to search for my family.

I had left a third-world country where all children but few needed to be adopted/saved from street life, prostitution and illeteracy if not from death. I was back in a prosperous country with more advanced technology than in my adoptive country.

If  the statement “Had you not been adopted, you’d have ended up as a prostitute or in the streets; you’d have became an illiterate; or you’d be dead” was true, then  there would be less people  or the country would be populated by illiterates, prostitutes and children of prostitutes.  I found instead more people, rich people, eating more,  living in large modern apartments or houses, addicted to their advanced technology in a rich country.

I should have then admitted that the statement  “Had you not been adopted, …” was false, but I didn’t.  Adoptees are brainwashed to believe all the statements they hear repeatedly. And a brainwashed person doesn’t come to her senses in an instant.

I cried walking in subway stations and Seoul streets. I  poured out my heart to God begging him to find my family.  I thought my brother was homeless or in a prison.  I took a random alley where  I saw four men playing cards; they looked much older than my brother but I thought one of them could be my brother who must looked like an old man due to hardship. My heart leapt when I saw from a bus a drunk man lying under a bridge. In the subway, I tried to recognize a face that looked like mine among the women, but none could be my sister because none looked like a prostitute…

I went on TV to find my family two weeks before the end of my trip. My two sisters called me while the show was on air.  I had to wait to meet them during the next show which would be air the next week.  During the wait, I’d prepared a list of questions for my two sisters (I was told my brother had died a few years earlier). For my second sister I had  some questions such as, “where you sexually abused by the man of the family for whom you worked as maid?” But the language barrier prevented me from asking the silly questions.

My siblings, cousins and friends were born and left in a third-word country from which I was adopted.

None of them ended up as homeless; none of them ended up as prostitute.  My sister whom I had imagined as a prostitue was married and mother of two children aged 8 and 9. Had I not been adopted, I would have ended up neither as prostitut nor homeless.

None of them became illiterate. Had I not been adopted, I wouldn’t have become an illiterate. As you can see here and here, I could read and write before being adopted. But those who have the Adopter Saviour Syndrome believe reading and writing only Asian language is equivalent of being illiterate.

Two of my family members died during the years of separation, but none of them died of poverty. My father died of cirrhosisby overdrinking three years after losing me. My brother died, hit by a motorcycle.  Had I not been adopted, I wouldn’t have died.  When it’s your time to die, you’ll die wherever you live. When it’s not your time to die, you’ll live wherever you live.

The third-world country from which I was adopted is no longer a third-world country since years yet it continues to export ts children. Instead of selling children of the poor, it sells children of unwed moms. Individuals economic situation improved with the economy of the country. My elder sister had moved to a modern western style house five or six years after I went missing.

Adoption didn’t save me.

Adoption served adoption agency and its clients. The first made money from my adoption and the latter got what they needed. Their clients needed me to fulfill their desire; I didn’t need them.

My adopted life is nostalgia and melancholy.

I’ve endured  and I’m enduring pain and heartache caused by international adoption for no valid reason.

Lies are no longer comforting, but the hurting truth is better than the comforting lies.

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